We (i.e. me) here at BlindBiker.com take nutrition very seriously and try to drop knowledge on fools as often as possible. Our (my) top priority is to educate the masses about our toxic food system and advocate healthy eating habits. That’s why our team here at BlindBiker (me) has commissioned an expert scientist (me) to formulate a complex algorithm to rank the best nutritional health websites. Some things the algorithmic formula takes into account: content, layout, freshness, accessibility, swag, accuracy, flyness, agility, creativity, concision, poignant writing, and design.

Here are the calculated results:

No. 5 – WHFoods.com

World’s Healthiest Foods is, essentially, a nutrition database. It offers a vast array nutritional information (all of which is based on proven scientific data), and since WHFoods is a “not-for-profit” website, the information provided is fair and not influenced by commercial interests.

WHFoods is a great website to check the nutritional content of a fruit or vegetable, and it also provides recipes if you like to cook.

No. 4 – WhatsOnMyFood.org

What’s On My Food? is an amazing website that allows users to see how many pesticide residues are on conventionally grown foods. The website doesn’t just number how many chemical residues were detected, but they list the chemicals found and offer a “toxicity legend”.

If you weren’t a proponent for organic foods before, you will be once you see how many carcinogens, hormone disruptors, neurotoxins, and reproductive toxins you’re consuming.

No. 3 – NaturalNews.com

Natural News is the website equivalent of Captain Planet. The website is bold and works to expose real issues that conventional media won’t touch. So beyond homeopathic health articles, you get a wide range of content covering government and corporate corruption within the medical, agricultural, and environmental fields.

This website has serious cojones (a.k.a. balls). Not visiting this site daily would be a disservice to yourself.

No. 2 – Mercola.com

Mercola.com was founded by Dr. Joseph Mercola, a licensed osteopathic physician. Osteopathic physicians practice preventive health care, helping patients develop attitudes and lifestyles that don’t just fight illness, but help prevent it.

The site does an incredible job with providing the most up to date natural health information. Much like NaturalNews.com, Dr. Mercola exposes corporate and government lies that mislead people into an unhealthy lifestyle. Also, Mercola.com is the worlds #1 rated natural health website according to Alexa.com. Not too shabby.

No. 1 – OrthoNut.com

This is, by far, my favorite the best natural health website that I know of has ever existed. This is not opinion. This is fact. OrthoNut.com gets the #1 spot because it isn’t just a natural health website. It’s a lifestyle choice. Let me explain…

In the past, people who loved eating healthy were labelled as having “orthorexia”– the unhealthy obsession with healthy eating. The brilliant founder of OrthoNut.com thought that the whole concept behind orthorexia was absurd (How can eating highly nutritious food and avoiding toxic Frankenfood be “unhealthy”?) and coined a word with a positive connotation in which people could identify. From the website:

The name OrthoNut is the combination of the greek ortho (meaning “correct”) and nutrition. In the simplest of forms, OrthoNut means “correct nutrition.”

…

People who love eating healthy should not be labeled as “orthorexic.” Instead, we who enjoy eating consciously should be labeled as OrthoNuts: people crazy about eating right.

What differentiates OrthoNut.com from other natural health sites is that the information provided is concise and easy to digest, enlightening people about our food system in just seconds.

I’ve also seen OrthoNut deliver a preterm baby while, simultaneously, performing the Heimlich Maneuver on a chocking elderly woman. OrthoNut saved both of their lives.

To have your life rescued, visit OrthoNut.com.

The scale reads exactly 200 pounds.

There’s been a huge mistake. In my quest to look like the Michelin Man, I ended up looking exactly like Michelangelo’s David. Don’t believe me? I’ll back it up with rock solid evidence. (This evidence, however, is not as “rock solid” as my new biceps. But, then again, nothing is.)

Here are some numbers: On January 7, 2012, I weighed 162 pounds. On March 11, 2012, I reached my goal of 200 pounds. That’s 38 pounds of weight (and by “weight,” I mean “stone”) in just over two months.

If this isn’t “evidence” enough for you, just look at my before and after pictures.

BEFORE

I actually don’t have pictures of me at my lowest weight, so here’s a visual representation:

This is about how I looked when I flexed.

AFTER

Click the image to see me get even larger.

Disclaimer: These are NOT sculpted marble statues. This is all me. (Granted, I did just get done working out, so my muscles are a little yoked up.)

PROCESS

My Michelin Man Diet consisted of these three major lifestyle changes:

1.) I abandoned many of my OrthoNut beliefs and consumed mass amounts of food. This meant consuming a lot of enriched white carbs (i.e. devil food), animal protein (rest in peace fauna), and creatine enriched protein shakes (you can do it kidneys!).

2.) I completely stopped doing cardiovascular exercise. (Now the simple act of chewing has me at a loss for breath.)

3.) On workout days, I would focus on one target area (e.g. chest, back, legs) and do one slow set (5 seconds down, 5 seconds up) until muscle failure. After I reached failure for that specific exercise, I’d move on to a different lift that targeted that same muscle group. After about 8 different exercises, my day was done.

REFLECTION

It’s hard for me to reflect on these last two months, because my reflection is distracting me. I can’t stop looking in the mirror. It’s getting hot in here. I’m at a loss for words. Oh my goodness, I just winked at myself.

It’s Girl Scout season and  everyone seems to be excited. I, however, am not. I am righteously infuriated by the Girl Scouts. I hate them. Not because I think they exploit big-eyed, five-year-old girls for profit. Not because they raised their prices in the middle of a recession. Not because I’m a self-diagnosed OrthoNut that recognizes that the ingredients in their cookies kill people. (I’m serious. These cookies will kill you.) I hate the Girl Scouts because they inadvertently led the attack on my ego. (Don’t worry. I’ll explain.)

Before I begin, let me tell you that my ego is huge. So massive, in fact, that it is one of the few man-made objects that you can see from space.

What’s my point? My ego is like The Great Wall of China: just because it’s big doesn’t mean it can’t be penetrated. So when a conversation about the Girl Scout’s Lemonades™ led to a FALSE accusation about me having “chicken legs,” I felt as if my ego was raped  by a Genghis Khan Mongolian invasion.

Girl Scouts or minions?

It all started when a girl from class politely offered me one of her Lemonades™ Girl Scout cookies. Even though I’ve been stuffing my face with garbage over these last two months as I desperately try to gain weight, I was repulsed by her charitable offering. I rejected her lending hand not only because the Girl Scouts use genetically modified ingredients and hydrogenated oils, but because my ego is too large to accept any kind of donation. (If I need a donation, I’ll earn it!)

I couldn’t mask my indignation as I politely said: “Disgusting.”

Never in the history of the world has a word been articulated with such vigor. My voice boomed with so much authority that I received applause from onlookers. The heavy sentiment of disdain made a baby cry. The word was delivered with such a passion that it burnt my tongue.

It was an epic moment for me, even gaining recognition from The Academy. (I’m not talking Oscars. I’m talking The Swedish Academy–Nobel Prize, people!) But, like Alfred Nobel, not all good came from my invention.

The girl who offered me the cookie retreated in embarrassment, like a three-legged dog who gets caught pooping on the carpet. Apparently, the word had so much weight that it crushed the poor girl’s backbone. I felt terrible. I tried to explain myself, but she was rendered paralyzed.

“It’s just that I’m on a rigorous diet,” I pleaded.

Some girl with a quick tongue (possibly the teacher) remarked: “But you’re so thin.”

This comment made my butt hole clench. “Thin?” I questioned, looking around the room in search of the perpetrator who violated me. “I’ve gained 30 pounds in under two months on this diet. I’m f***ing large.”

I could tell from the teacher’s face that she didn’t believe me. Unbeknownst to her, she initiated a verbal duel.

I gave her a long, assiduous stare and said: “Swear to God.” Apparently, my sworn statement under The Almighty wasn’t proof. I had to back it up with dates. “On January 7th, I weighed 162. Yesterday, I weighed 193.” She looked at me as if I were a skinny dildo.

What the teacher said: “I can see you gained a little weight in the face.”

What I heard the teacher say: “You’re a f***ing liar.”

I needed proof. A witness. Something!

“I believe him,” my fellow compadre interjected while gazing at my calves. “He doesn’t have chicken legs anymore.”

Never has somebody insulted me so badly while they were simultaneously helping me out. I was conflicted. I didn’t know whether to slap a trick or write her a thank you letter. (I don’t really slap tricks. It’s just the thug in me.)

I gave the girl with the “chicken-leg” comment the eyeball (translation: a dirty look). “You must be out of your f***ing mind, ya crusty skeez.” (If you can’t tell, the thug was really coming out of me by this point.) “Serena Williams doesn’t have sh*t on me. Even at my skinniest, my legs were mistaken for redwoods. My street name is ‘Tree Trunks’…”

What happened next? I don’t even know. My mind has been clouded ever since. I haven’t been able to sleep. Haven’t been able to eat. I’m ruined, and it’s all because of the Girl Scouts.

Until the Girl Scouts contact me with a written apology, I’m going to keep spreading the dirty word.

Sometimes I develop man crushes. Yeah, I said it! So what? I’m not ashamed. I have a smokin’ hot girlfriend who happens to look like a young, hotter version of Holly Robinson Peete. (Sexy, right?) You don’t have to answer that. I know she’s sexy. It was a hypothetical question, hence the parentheses.

Last week, I was gazing deep into the abysses, which are my girlfriend’s dark-chocolaty eyeballs. I couldn’t breathe and I felt like any attempt for air would have me hospitalized for The Bends. What was that suffocating feeling? Love. I began to caress her cocoa buttery skin. Then, slowly, an image began to appear in my mind. I couldn’t make it out at first, but it was accompanied by a voice. It sounded godly, like Morgan Freeman. (Or maybe it was that other black guy from the Allstate commercials.) This deep, seductive voice in my head started vibrating my panties. The room began to get hot and I began to sweat. I realized I was having an out of body experience (which, turns out, feels like one gigantic orgasm). I didn’t know what was going on. Am I dying? I thought. Is that you, God? Then the image started to become more clear. The heavy voice was coming from a white male figure. I was pissed. I lived my whole life thinking Jesus was a black woman. “Hey, big boy!” he said to me. The image became clear and I was rendered speechless. This hot, tingly sensation I felt all over my body (and in my pants) wasn’t caused by my girlfriend or Jesus (who is a black female). It was simply me fantasizing about Brett Favre.

This isn’t the only time I’ve fantasized about a man while I’m with a girl. Other culprits who’ve plagued my libido include (in order of sexiness):

1. Myself (Is it wrong to get “chubby” while looking at yourself in the mirror?)
2. The character Guido Orefice from Life Is Beautiful–the best movie ever made.
3. Will Smith (Mainly because of his music, but also because of this scene from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air)

The time has come for me to add another man to this list. His name: Tony Robbins. He’s been around for a while doing motivational speaking, but it wasn’t until recently that he caught my eye with his swagg (translation for my gringos: confidence and style) and my ear with his velvety voice. Now, I’m not one for motivational speakers. As a matter of fact, I’ve only been motivated by one other person in my life (excluding myself, of course). That person was a blind man who was riding a bike (That man was my motivation for starting this blog. See “The ‘Impossible’ List” for details.) But this guy, Tony Robbins, knows how to talk.

I’ve decided to post this Tony Robbins video because much of what he talks about parallel’s my personal philosophy on goals, progress, personal change, and standards. For the many people who think my goals are impossible, you need to watch this video.

For all the people who’ve been holding their breath, waiting for the next BlindBiker post: inhale. I’m back.

I would apologize to my vast array of fans, but, simply put, I’m not sorry. I don’t give a damn about all two (2) of you. I’m more important (obviously, considering I have a website with two whole fans). Nobody cares about you, but–like my loyal fans out there–people (i.e. you) care about me.

So, where have I been?

Don’t worry about where I’ve been. Juss-mine-ya’-bi’ness (translation: Just mind your business).  I’ve been doing large things. And when I say “large,” I mean massive. That’s just how I roll.

What “massive things” have you been doing? 

Well, for starters, I’m taking a “massive” dump right now. Don’t worry though. My poop isn’t really poop. Kind of like how Jesus turned water into wine, my bowels are so healthy that they turn fecal matter into organic strawberry gelato.

My poop.

Wow! How do you do that?

You see, I’m what you call an OrthoNut. Simply put, this just means that I’m better and more healthy than you. That’s why you’re on your computer right now while I’m training for the Olympics.

But I thought you were pooping?

Firstly, I don’t poop. I “create delicious deserts.” Secondly, I burn more calories “creating delicious deserts” than you would running a marathon.

Wait… what are we even talking about?

We’re talking about me, THE BlindBiker, and how I’m back and in business. So, put on your diaper because I’m about to make you pee pee.

November 15, 2011 to January 1, 2012:

• stopped exercising
• pulled too many all-nighters to count (terrible for body and recovery)
• the combination of Thanksgiving and stress ruined my diet*
• some more nights without any sleep
• a much needed trip to Hawaii perpetuated my terrible diet*
• two weeks in bed due to tonsillitis
• Christmas festivities which furthered my downward dietary spiral*

*Note: The bad choices in my diet and binge eating remarkably had no effect on my overall weight. I remained around 170 pounds. However, I lost a significant amount of tone as my muscle mass turned into mashed potatoes (i.e. fat). 

Look how swollen those arms are!

January 1, 2012 t0 January 7, 2012:

• start of the New Year and I’m extremely motivated
• detox my body
• reinstitute my all-organic diet
• get the stomach flu and lose 10 pounds

January 8, 2012 to February 4, 2012:

• body weight is at lowest point since adulthood: 162 pounds at 6’5”
• design a weight-gain diet and workout regimen with the goal of reaching 200 pounds with under 10 percent body fat (When achieved, I imagine I’ll look eerily similar to the Michelin Man.)

February 5, 2012:

• looking chunkier than ever with a body weight of 187 pounds (That’s a remarkable 25 pounds in under 30 days. BOO-YAH! It’s not all muscle, but it’s meat on my bones.)

You might ask: “Why are you trying to gain weight?” or “Why not continue your ‘impossible’ attempts?” My answer to that would be: I looked in the mirror and resembled a gigantic lollipop.

After I succeed on The Michelin Man Diet, I’ll get back to attempting the impossible. Realistically, I’m hoping for that to be May 1, 2012.

BlindBiker.com has been very low on my list of priorities lately. Certain circumstances have arisen which have caused me to refocus my priorities. I’m going to have to push this blog to the sidelines in the meantime. It’s not over for the BlindBiker. I’m just on sabbatical, indefinitely.

It’s the halfway point of my first challenge, trying to achieve a 40” vertical jump in 30 days time…

So, how have I been doing? 

Not well. If I had to grade myself, I would give myself a C-.

Why such a low grade?

Before I begin, I must say that I am extremely hard on myself. I have very high expectations for myself (as you can tell by my impossible list), so if I make a mistake or come across any speed bumps, I beat myself up about it. It’s been a slightly bumpy ride these first fifteen days of the journey.

The first speed bump that I came across happened to be my excruciatingly painful case of DOMS that kept me off my feet and out of the gym for six days. Even though I was in bed for the majority of those six days, it was hard to be at ease knowing that I sabotaged myself by pushing my body far beyond its limit.

I hate to say it because it sounds like an excuse, but my other speed bump has been school. There just aren’t enough hours in a day. Every day, excluding the six days when my legs decided to keep me hostage, I’ve managed to get in great workouts. The problem, however, is that schoolwork has deprived me of time. The lack of time has been detrimental to three essential things: eating, exercising, and sleeping.

Eating: Since I spend the majority of my time at school or the library (and because I never eat out), I’ve skipped many meals this month. This has been depriving my body of much needed nutrient, essential for muscle development.

Exercising: I’ve had to move my workout schedule around. In the beginning of the month, I was able to do two thorough workouts a day: one in the morning and one in the evening. This has changed to me doing one large workout early in the morning or late at night.

Sleeping: Because I want good grades, I’ve had to sacrifice a lot of sleep (this includes a couple of “all-nighters”) in order to finish some assignments on time. This lack of sleep impedes on your recovery process, and without the recovery your muscles won’t develop.

Have I tested my vertical since my first jump?

It’s somewhat illogical to give myself any kind of grade, because I don’t really know what my physical progress has been. I have not measured my vertical since day one of the challenge.

There are two reasons why I haven’t:

1.) ”A watched pot never boils.” Just like how it’s pointless to step on a scale every day, it would be pointless to track my progress every day. Doing so would be extremely discouraging, and this kind of discouragement is what makes people quitters.

2.) My legs won’t be able to perform during my training. Working out every day has made my legs perpetually sore and wobbly. Therefore, if I tried to perform a vertical jump test the result would be embarrassing. In order to get an accurate reading, your body needs at least a couple days rest to be at peak performance.

What have I learned so far?

I’ve learned NOT to go overboard. Doing so might hurt you more than it helps. Also, I’ve learned time management is extremely important.

Will I be able to better improve my time management skills in the next 15 days?

That will be my biggest challenge. I really hope so.

Have you ever pushed your muscles far beyond their limit? If so, you might be familiar with the term “muscle fever” or the acronym DOMS (delayed onset muscle soreness).

What is DOMS?

Delayed onset muscle soreness describes the biological phenomenon of extreme pain, soreness, and stiffness that occurs in a person’s muscles a day or two after they perform an exercise. The pain and soreness will slowly subside and can take as long as a week to completely go away.

When and why does DOMS occur?

DOMS typically occurs when a person begins a new exercise program, changes their exercise routine, or drastically increases the duration or intensity of their exercise.

Though the pain can be alarming, it’s a completely natural response attributed to the body’s adaptation process. As they adapt through a painful recovery, the muscles gain strength and stamina caused by muscle hypertrophy, or the enlargement of muscle tissue due to the increase of cell size.

Ways to reduce the pain of DOMS

You can take essential precautions before, during, and after training that will help your muscles prepare for and recover from a hard workout. By implementing these elements, it’s likely that recovery will be a lot less painful:

BEFORE TRAINING

1.) Nutrition – A good diet is absolutely essential. The food you put in your body before a workout is your body’s fuel during the workout. Make sure to eat healthy, well-rounded meals for at least a few days before increasing the intensity of your workout or starting a new regimen. Make sure it’s high in protein and complex carbs. Cut out the sweets and processed foods.

2.) Hydration – It goes without saying that staying hydrated is an exercise “must!” Not only is it essential to health, but it’s essential for muscle function and reducing soreness. Make sure you are fully hydrated before starting a workout.

DURING TRAINING

3.) Warm Up – Don’t go straight into heavy lifting. Heading straight for the weights will make you more susceptible for injury and will increase soreness post-workout. Instead, stretch and get your body warm. Cardiovascular exercises like running or jump rope are great ways to get your blood flowing. You also want to ease into heavy lifting. For instance, if you plan on doing squats, do a couple of light sets before you start loading your bar with weight.

4.) Regulation – Don’t go overboard. This is possibly one of the biggest causes of DOMS. It’s important that you challenge your limits, but you have to know when to stop. Is doing a few more sets of squats worth not being able to walk for a few days? Would doing those squats help or hurt you? These are some questions you need to keep in mind. Gradual progression (i.e. baby steps) will get you further in the long run and help to prevent DOMS.

5.) Cool Down – Some good ways of cooling down include light cardiovascular exercise, stretches, and yoga. These cool down techniques will progressively lower body temperature and help increase range of motion in muscles and joints, helping to reduce DOMS.

AFTER TRAINING

6.) Nutrition – Within two hours of your workout, it is incredibly important to eat. You need to put nutrients in your body to help your body recover properly. Immediately after a workout you want to get an abundance of complex carbs and protein to replenish your muscles. Also, studies have suggested that the anti-inflammatory effects of Vitamin C aid in post-workout recovery. Load up on oranges and stay away from the junk food!

7.) Active Recovery – A great way to reduce the symptoms/pain of DOMS is to stay active. Many people assume that immediately resting muscles is the best road to recovery. But by staying active, you are keeping the blood in your muscles flowing and replenishing them with nutrients.

8.) Ice – Icing your muscles is for the severe cases of DOMS. It won’t necessarily aid in the recovery, but it will help numb the pain and reduce the swelling of muscles.

9.) Massage – A simple massage to the sore muscles can reduce the tightness and increase blood flow. Doing this can ease stress, reduce pain, and relax your muscles and mind.

10.) Rest – Your body heals and recovers when it sleeps. Make sure you get at least a full 8 hours of rest so that you don’t prolong your recovery.

(My own experience with DOMS is what inspired me to do the research and write this article.)

Sources:

• http://sportsmedicine.about.com/cs/injuries/a/doms.htm
• http://physicalliving.com/15-ways-to-prevent-and-heal-muscle-soreness/

(Update: 11.08.11)

How did I end up stuck in bed?

Let me give you the day-by-day breakdown.

DAY ONE:

On the first of November, after I measured my vertical jump, I did some heavy weight lifting.

Before I go even further, let me say that I have ALWAYS hated working out my lower body. Squats are the exercise equivalent of my most dreaded nightmares. Maybe it’s because the proportions and strength of my legs are comparable to soggy spaghetti noodles, but the sight of a squat rack makes me nauseous.

Because of this fear and hatred, I NEVER do squats. The flatness of my rump is proof.

But, after finding out that my vertical was only 22” (no-step), I got motivated. I overcame my fear and did squats. A lot of them.

I also mixed these squats in with other workouts such as weighted lunges and calf raises. It goes without saying that the two hours I spent trying to strengthen my noodles (legs) were difficult.

DAY TWO:

I woke up the next day and wasn’t sore at all. My legs were incredibly weak, but there was no pain. In my arrogant mind, I attributed this to my phenomenal diet and thorough stretching. As a matter of fact, I was dissatisfied. Being sore meant that I was doing something right.

I decided to up my dosage and increase the intensity of my workout regimen. I did my squats, lunges, and calf raises again but with a deeper range of motion and speedier repetitions. I also increased the amount of repetitions for each exercise.

DAY THREE:

Pain…

I decided to take it easy this day.

DAY FOUR:

Worse pain.

I couldn’t walk. My muscles were actually swollen. When I attempted to walk (or even stand up), the muscles in the back of my legs were so tight and contracted that it was physically impossible for me to reach my heal to the ground with a straight leg. When I was forced to painfully make my way to the restroom, I had to walk on my tip-toes with my knees slightly bent. And, since my muscles were shot, I had no balance or stability.

To answer the question:

I realize that I was a victim of DOMS, or delayed onset muscle soreness. DOMS is what happens when you exercise extremely hard and don’t get sore until a day or two after your workout. When the soreness does finally hit, it hits hard.

The reason my case of DOMS was so severe was because I was an idiot. The stupidity that led to my DOMS stems from two things:

1. After my intense lower body workout on Day 1 (a workout that was already bound to give me DOMS), I worked out the same muscle groups even more intensely the following day.
2. I failed to recognize that by targeting every muscle group in my lower body all at once (e.g. calves, hamstrings, gluteus maximus), I would be sore everywhere at the same time. I should have divided the muscle groups and exercised them on separate days. If I had done this, I wouldn’t have wasted days recovering and still would have been able to walk around.